It’s funny…

21 07 2008
“but nothing unifies like a common enemy
and we’ve got one, sure as hell
but he may be living in your house
he may be raising up your kids
he may be sleeping with your wife
oh no, he may not look like you think”
-Derek Webb, “A King and a Kingdom”

I really fail at practicing what I preach. This poor girl went to Vintage all alone, sat by herself, and no one talked to her. She looked so sad. Myself, being an incredibly nice guy, felt like someone should go and talk to her / make her feel welcome. So, I did what any other decent person would do and actually did: nothing. It’s not the first time, either. In the past few times I’ve gone to Vintage, the same thing has happened with two other people, both guys. They seemed to come by themselves, sat by themselves, wandered aimlessly around by themselves. Those times, I also did what any decent person would do: absolutely nothing. You’d think a guy who spent the better part of his life wishing he had friends and that people would talk to him would be more likely to go out of his way to be nice to people. Nope. I could’ve encouraged these people and shown them love, but I let my fear of rejection and my shyness take over, instead of not worrying about that stuff and doing what I should have.

“If this is all the love my spirit can give
There is not a reason more to live”
-Demon Hunter, “The Tide Began to Rise”

But you know what? How many other people (loving Christians) were there? I realize that I’m no better than they are for not doing anything, but I wonder, was I the only one who even noticed? Why is it that we can talk ’til we’re blue in the face about being loving to others, but can’t take enough time to break out of our stupid cliques and show love to someone who needs it? Do we (I) not have enough love? What can I do to get it? How can I get to the point where I don’t care about the consequences and will just do what I feel is right?

I’ve failed to make a difference in someone’s life. I could have shown God’s love, but stifled it. I could have said a kind word, but held it in. I could have been the hands and feet of Christ, but chose to stay little, insecure me.

What the hell is my problem?

“It’s funny how chemo wears you down.
It’s funny when the lame dog is put down.
It’s funny when it is taken out into the street and is shot.”
-Spitfire, “Chemo Therapist”

(originally written 6/4/08 )



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: