This particular entry partially explains why I don’t worry too much about “defending” God or my faith to other people. Sure I’ll try to “give an answer to every man that asketh [me] a reason of the hope that is in [me] with meekness and fear,” (1 Peter 3:15, KJV) but my beliefs aren’t really something that can be defended with worldly or “Christian” logic. If anything I believe is true, then the only way others will be convinced is if God moves them. Anyway, Watchman Nee says it a lot better than I ever could, so here’s the entry:
SEPTEMBER 12th
I had heard of thee by the hearing of the ear; but now mine eye seeth thee. Job 42. 5.
Sound doctrine can inflate us, making us proud of our knowledge or our opinions. Or we can forget the truth by having it knocked out of us by skilled argument or third-degree methods. But vision is revolutionary. Beside it everything else becomes small. Once see the Lord and we shall never forget Him. With the attacks of Satan increasing and the counsel of friends failing us, it is only the inner knowledge of God that will make us stand in the testing time.
For a year or two after my conversion I used to fear lest a modernist or an atheist should come along and prove to me that the Bible was faulty and unreliable. I thought, if he did, that would finish everything. My faith would be lost; and I wanted to believe. But now all is peace. If all of them came, and if they brought as many arguments against the Bible as there are bullets in the armouries of Europe, my answer would be one and the same. “There is a great deal of reason in what you say—but I know my God. That is enough.”
